Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Sink Plunger Strikes Again.

Well we all survived the Chelmsford do last weekend and what an exhibition it was.
Have done quite a few exhibitions over the years and I have NEVER experienced:
1, Before we had got out of the van some smiling gent called Andy insisted on helping us get all our gear into the hall!!!
Not only was he helpful but he appreared to be enjoying himself.

2, Smiling Andy departed to help someone else and then another gent appeared asking if we needed any assistance,,, and when it came to putting up the light box his assistance was invaluable.

3, FREE TEA all day!!!! [for residents of the pastures & it's humanoid operators that is a quite considerable investment!!!]

4, The Operators free SPAGBOL on the Saturday was wonderful,,, my only gripe would have to be there was about 3 times more than I could finish in the half hour allowed.

What a lovely club Chelmsford appear to have,,, loads of quality trade stands,, [luckily I was too busy to spend any dosh] loads of nice layouts & everyone appeared to be having a good time.

Our old friend Sink Plunger appeared with his fistful of cinematice wizardry and his efforts are well worth a look on YouTube,, just pump in Chelmsford Exhibition 2012 and you'll see what I mean.

Thanks to:
DTO for getting the great unwashed to Chelmsford.
Hasselblad for swanning all day in his inimitable fashion.
Druid Mike,,, be advised,,, for the first hour your expression appeared to be somewhere between panic and terrified,,,by 2.30pm you appeared to be enjoying yourself.
Mr Josh,,, I did notice the GWR Psychic B or whatever it was that you slipped onto the quiet end of the shed,,, as Herr Flick advised on frequent occasions,,, "Zer Vill be REPRIZALS".
AndyB,, the bed was warm although we could have done with being in it a bit longer, your choice of hostelry was excellent, and you have not lost your touch at humping on a Friday afternoon,,, very impressive,, especially after all these years!!!
Alan Davies the Chelmsford Exhibition Manager,,, Alan a wonderful day out,, organised to perfection and we all had a great time,, ti's a pity you cannot convince your chums to do a 2 day bash,, as these good 1 day shows are over too quickly.

Many thanks to all from SAD & Salmon Pastures.

Sunday, 14 October 2012

A milk bottle is born!!!

As mentioned earlier this could well be the last blog before the Chelmsford bash this coming Saturday,,, see the last blog for the full address and date,, " sorry but I'm far too busy to include in this one"

Glad tidings are abounding,,, after 4 attempts, I repeat 4 attempts we have produced a passing excuse of a 4mm scale single milk bottle & it will be on full show at Chelmsford so all you lot have to do is find it!!! I'll give you a quick clue as your starter for ten and advise that it is full and upright!!!

I'd love to tell you what the successful formula for 4mm scale milk bottle production is but if I did Mr Yin in Hangzhou or wherever would be producing them in their millions by this time tomorrow so I won't.

But,, it isn't a cocktail stick,,, they break when you put them in the lathe and it isn't plastic rod as they turn into wet noodles when you try shaping them in a lathe,,, so you work it out.

The picture!!!!! what a cracker,,, another Sheffield shot of a Victorian school in the heart of the steel works,,, I wish I had gone there,, they must have had great fun climbing up that steel works water tower every break time,, & impossible to think of a finer example of co-operation between industry and collegiate life than building a water tower in a school playground,,, this was possibly how adventure playgrounds got started.

I remember school,, free milk,, & that semi-permanent sensation of stinging nettles on the back of my legs and knuckles,,, I really loved school,,, apart from the teachers and lessons,, but I have to admit I always preferred the summer holidays and away days with my Ian Allan bible,, now that was serious religious studies!!

Fresh Air

Well this will almost certainly be the last post before we head off south to strut our stuff at Chelmsford, [this coming Saturday, 20th October 2012 at the King Edward VI Grammar School, Broomfield Road, Chelmsford, Essex].

Now here's a particularly poignant shot of 2 of the pastures residents taking in a good blast of fresh air one Sunday morning in the mid 1930's, just before they ajourned to the hostelry of their choice for a quick game of pontoon and find out who won this mornings pigeon race.

The one with the bowler and well prepared brollie is our old friend Mr Murdoch,, he always like's to make an effort on Sunday's "as one never knows who one might bump into",, his drinking partner is actually married to one of the lady's pushing the pram in an earlier blog, if only he knew what Mr Murdoch gets up to whilst he is gainfully employed filleting cod at the chippie on Mafeking Terrace!!!!

If you put the photo to your ear you can hear the furnaces blasting away, and smell that wonderful aroma of profitable heavy industry,,, even on Sunday mornings,,, and if your particularly lucky you may even hear the clank of shunting coal wagons being pushed up the loading incline,,, a wonderful black and white world and not a flocker, pagoda roofed tin shack or cow pat in sight,,, but we do have horse pats,,, just ask at Chelmsford for full details!!!!

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Elf & Safety "Pastures Fashion"

Now here's another little gem,,, [ and please click on it as it is worth studying in all it's monochrome glory] straight out of the Pastures Archive & if this one dosen't get the H&S commando's moisturising their briefs then I'm half Vietnamese

Personally I cannot see anything wrong in this picture!!!! here we are way back when in our very own Citadel Steels & that is a small but very active Bessemer Convertor and it's in action as there is a distinct Black & White glow emmanating from its main orifice.

I estimate approximately 6 feet away we have the Bessemer Operator fully protected in his dads string vest, vintage flat cap and braces, with him & kneeling whilst facing east and spying the largest flagon of cider I have ever seen in my life is the operator's assistant,,,he is kneeling as a sign of respect to his boss OR he has sampled too much of the cider.

Now that wind up device is to get the operators assistant back on his feet on the odd occasion he over imbibes on the cider,, it's either that or a very early Yorkshire cast iron wrist watch.

Now in an elevated position above the convertor there is obviously the shift superintendent as he is sporting a waistcoat and is allowed to avoid looking directly at the camera to underline his elevated position in the organisation and so as to confirm this the Lord almighty has blessed him with some direct sunlight.

Now above and beyond the Bessie Operator [as they were known] we have the pointsman,,,now he has seen so many people, maimed, fried, charboiled, roasted and basted that he is well beyond protective workwear and being a practising muslim he has decided if his time's up then it's up and there's now't he can do about it.

Now his job is to alter the direction of the spoil shoot to either the preformed sand ingots or if he is in playful mood & being a bit of a japer he has on occasions tried pouring the white hot metal into the Bessie Operators right ear,,, laugh,,, he nearly died,,, he's a card that pointsman.

Now then think on this little pearl,,,, when all this was going on as a matter of routine in most town's north of the trent and before Elf and Safety was invented we not only had an empire but we ruled the world as well!!!

This was the time when we were casting driving wheels above peoples heads 365 days a year not just as some sideshow to kick off the olympics,,, thats where the empires gone,,, the Elf & Safety battalions have made British industry so uncompetetive they have handed our heavy industry to the Chinese and Indians on a silver platter,,, and we used to make them as well.

See you in Chelmsford,,, bring the missus,,, I'll show her round our enchanted garden!!!!

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Bathing on an industrial scale!!!

I just have to share this little gem with our burgeoning band of supporters,,, and it is taken from my rapidly expanding "life in the real world" album.

Not wanting to bore you with too much detail I actually remember bathing in something like this as a child,,, but I'm sure my experience was in a larger and more comfortable vessel than this poor devil.

It's another mine workers photo from 1931,,now he has probably just finished a shift down't pit and is need of some cleansing!!!! On completion of his very personal hygene regime he probably shot off round his local hostelry and downed 15 pints of Mansfield Best Bitter,,,, and rightly so if you ask me.

Unbelievable,,, not really that's the way things were,,, and everybody had a smile on their face,,, and I'm not surprised after 15 pints of Mansfield Best!!!!

Think on all you flockers,,think on!!!

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

EXCLUSIVE Shock-Gasp-Horror Mr Murdoch's at it again.

As mentioned in an earlier blog what we have in this picture is what with a casual glance may appear to be quite a normal scene of everyday life here at the pastures.


This scene is far from normal and the intrigue is such that it can only be a matter of time before the RedTop Sunday excuses for journalists get a hold of this sordid little tale.

Two young mums pushing their dearest down Citadel Hill to do a bit of shopping to get something for tea,,, tripe and onions is a favourite or perhaps a nice 4 penneth of brisket,,[ho ho those were the days!!]

Coming up the hill is Mr Murdoch [the local hyperactive lothario] with one of his multitudinous offspring,,, just met at the tramstop opposite the shops.

Now the intrigue is that there are 3 children in this shot and Mr Murdoch is the biological father of all of them!!,,not to mention neither of the 2 mums realise that he is the father of the other's child.

He's a very busy boy this Mr Murdoch,,, and is there any wonder he is trying to interest his young son in anything rather than making eye contact with either of his two previous conquests,,, as if an 8 year old would be interested in bespoke hand made furniture.

There's more than meets the eye for the residents of Salmon Pastures,,, come and see us in all our sordid detail at Chelmsford on October 20th,,, you won't be disappointed,, and if you are it's too late as you will have already paid!!!

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Swanning around.

Yes Yes,, I know I've changed the background photo again,,, this one was taken by our old friend Alan "Hasselblad" [that's welsh for Westerner] Davies and for me it sums up the essence of life on the pastures,,, it's murky, an uphill struggle, and the far distance is well out of focus,, wonderful,, nothing to do with me not having to pay him royalties for his very atmospheric image.
There is an interesting little tale about the pedestrians on the hill but I'll save that one for when I've found another close up shot of this little lot.
You are probably wondering what all this has to do with swan-upping and all that Thames Pageantry.
Well Mr Hasselblad will actually be joining us at Chelmsford and he is a very useful person to have alongside,,, when things get fraught Alan has this wonderful capability of serenely carrying on whilst the world falls apart around him,,, a bit like the swan going against the current,, very graceful on the surface whilst all hell is breaking loose in the engine room arena.
Now I'm not suggesting that we are in for a rough time at Chelmsford,, Oct 20th [just in case you forget] but if we do Alan is very adept at multifunctioning,,, he can drive the tram, smile, and hold a conversation with a member of the public all at the same time whilst out of view yours truly is unwittingly burning holes in his trouser legs with a soldering iron,,, I told you we have fun whilst exhibiting.
We look forward to meeting you all a week on Saturday!!