Saturday, 19 April 2014

Vorsprung durch gollocks!!!

Apparently this Teutonic waffle means something along the lines of progress through technology!!!


Last week I promised to take the mehmsaab and her trusty companion Tetley the terrier, and the caravan to London for a few days so we could all see the sights!! Yippee Oh what fun we'll have!!

We set off armed to the gunnels around 11am Tuesday morning,,, and all was going well,,, we stopped for a break around Standsted and then continued south heading towards our destination just south of the Thames at a charmingly named place called Abbey Wood near Bexley.

Somewhere around the M25 & A12 junction the dreaded sound of a warning bell announced from the Dashboard that we had a cooling problem,,,, so quickly pull over and investigate,,, now there was a small amount of steam issuing from around the coolant expansion chamber and so I thought OK it probably needs filling up,,,,, now this was the first trip out of the season with the caravan and everything was EMPTY we had no water either in the car or on the van,,,, Miztake Einze.

So the mehmsaab reminded me no problem we have AA cover with the Bank Account just give them a call,, so I did,,, or tried to,,, have you ever tried phoning anybody on a mobile phone from the side of the motorway,,, especially the M25,,,, HELLO,,, HELLO,,, oh this is useless so I got back in the car & phoned from the tranquility of the cabin,,,, on getting through all the AA wanted to ascertain was if I was still in the car and if so GET OUT QUICK co's it's very very dangerous,,,, Miztake Tzwei.

We registered our situation and were informed we were a priority case and a recovery vehicle was on  it's way as quickly as possible,,,, an hour later we were still a priority case and the recovery vehicle was still on it's way to get us to a place of safety,,,, which it did,,, it took us about 3 miles down the road to the Thurrock services where he dropped us as he was just recovery he didn't have the tools or expertise to put a bit more coolant in the radiator but don't worry one of the famous transit vans was on its way to our rescue.

After waiting another hour the afformentioned yellow van complete with very pleasant Polish technician arrived and he pronounced that we had a small leak on the plastic radiator which meant we were losing coolant,,, where are you going he asked,,, about 8 miles the other side of the Dartford Tunnel,,,, ah well I can probably seal it well enough to get you there but you must get it fixed,,, fair enough we thought,,, do your best and we can struggle the remaining 8 miles to our destination.

This he did,, he then insisted we let it run for about 20mins to ensure it was sealed, which it was and he then left us with a cheery wave and we proceeded to go over the Darford Crossing and onto our destination at Abbey Wood,,, what a lovely sounding name that is we mused.

We got through the toll both and were climbing the hill towards the A2 turn off when we heard yet again the warning buzzer from the dashboard telling us we had a cooling problem,,,distance covered since we had it sealed by our friendly AA man about 3.5miles.

We pulled over once again,,, the dog jumped out and took up the usual position on the grass bank & I attempted yet again to contact the AA,,,, are you in a place of safety,,, please listen to this warning OH for pity's sake just come and drag us off again,,, just send Steve he seemed quite a nice chap about 2 hours ago.

An hour later by which time it is getting dark another recovery wagon dragged us off  the M25 and took us to the charmingly sounding Abbey Wood!!!
This guy wasn't from the AA but a trusted contractor who specialised in getting people off the motorway to a place of safety,, Oh and by the way if' you'd like to leave the car with us we can probably fix it for you.

OK we ain't going anywhere with a caravan but without a car so you'd better fix it.

A charming lady who I'm sure I've heard before on TOWIE informed me the following morning that we had a small leak on the "raidater" and as it's plastic they can't repair it so we need a new plastic "raidater",,, at a mere £245 plus fitting at just under £60/hour  plus VAT but all being well it should be ready by Fursday evening,,, the day before Easter Friday!!!!

You've guessed what's coming,,, either our vorsprung pals sent the wrong raidater,,, or our fousands and fousands friends ordered the wrong one but having travelled back yesterday on the train,, with the mehmsaab and her trusty companion Tetley  and without both the car and caravan I now have the logistical challenge of getting back down there to collect both the car and caravan some time next week,,, assuming our fousand friends can track down a replacement plastic "raidater" and get it fitted to the car.

DEAR MR AUDI,,,, if plastic radiators are the future then I suggest you go back to producing the air cooled beetles,,,, where you didn't even need one,,,, if this is progress then I'm glad I already qualify for a bus pass,,, tin radiators may have been old hat but at least you could repair them!!!

I'm sure it was Fred Emery who muttered in the film the Italian Job,,, "bloody foreigners",,, oh and by the way,,, cross Abbey Wood off your list of nice places to visit,,,, let me just say it "sounds lovely",,, but

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