Friday, 5 April 2013

Bank Holidays are for weeding.

Time was very well spent over the recent bank holiday.

I was informed by "the management" that although it might be cold and windy it should not stop "us" from being very productive on the "weeding" front.

Ha ha, how right you were dear,,, before you knew it "Westerner" had arrived with his highly lethal electronic tea strainer and we let rip,,, now I'd seen the adverts in the modelling press about the Alkatraz tea strainer but hadn't gone much further than the usually dissmissive,, "what the hell's that for" and "bloomin Johhny Foreigner" phase.

Having one in my hand was a completely different experience,, especially after the Welsh Flockist hit the magic GO button whilst I was holding the other end,,, ho ho,,, he's a joker that Westerner.

We primed it with grimy green [nearly dead] and tan [definitely dead] grassy bits,,, hammered a 6" nail into the baseboard,,, promptly drowned the nail and surrounding area in pva glue and away we went,,,,,, mmm,,,, the grass slowly allowed gravity to take over and it started to resemble the Royal Albert Hall on rememberance Saturday the way it meandered down to the waiting glue,,,, I'll be honest after the shocking experience a few seconds before I was expecting the grass to race towards the glue like some demented exocet,,,,,

It must also have been GWR grass [what a surprise] as by the time it reached the awaiting glue it was extremely tired and needed to lie down,,, none of the advertised sticking up like Grenadier Guardsmen grass,,,, mmm,,,, a discussion took place and we agreed on 2 points:

1, The height of the strainer above the glue is probably important.

2, I would not sue "Westerner" providing he leaves his tea strainer with me for a bit of experimentation.

The following session I did experiment and unwittingly smothered another area in white wood glue not pva,,, I now have some lying down grass growing out of snow drifts not earth,,,, mmm it dawned on me why I really do enjoy brick work and soldering,,, this horticultural, agricultural, bucolic paraphanelia really is starting to get me down,,, unless of course you can smoke it,,, but not through a highly exciteable tea strainer!!!!

An old nursery rhyme springs to mind:
Roses are read,
Violets are blue,
Grass is green,
And a right pain in the raspberries,,,

Watch this spacial awareness.

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