Thursday, 14 February 2013

Time for a rant

You know who this is I'm sure,,, it's the dotty blonde caledonian autoqueue aritiste from the early morning BBC weather forecasts and she has a lot to answer for,,,, she gave me her personal assurance last week that it was going to start warming up.

I'm not her biggest fan,,, far from it,,, and it's not because she's caledonian,,, BUT,,, I do remember her from about 3 years ago on some early evening chat show rambling on about hobby's,,, another guest was Pete Waterman,,,, now you don't need to be a genius to identify what Pete was going to talk about,,, her reaction was very predictable,,, she scornfully announced she prefers rugby players, he-men and anything muscular,,, probably or preferably by the name of Billie!!!! and she thought Pete should grow up and get a life!!!!

What a muppet.

Another thing I could easily have a good rant about is why have the BBC decided to turn the early morning news programmes into some informative hybrid youth club,,,, it's all so predictable,,, here's the sports geezer,,, before he or she tells us what he's got to offer they have a little light hearted banter with Billie or Soozie,,, get on with it fer chrisakes,, me porridge is congealing,,, oh and here's the business geezess,,
EY-UP playmates,,, tha'll never guess whats 'appened to thee shares,,, they've plummeted,,, bloody plummeted,,, I'll be avin a gass wi some fella from't BP just after break,,, well I'll gu to foot of our stairs,, ee seems to gnu wat he's onabout but I can't tell abloddy word he's saying!!!

I'm not surprise dear,,, I'm from north of the trent myself,,, but,,, what are we trying to achieve with all this appeasement now we have moved everyone to Manchester,,, Andy Capp was and is a cartoon character,,, not an accurate image of your typical north country working chap.

I feel much better now,,, I really do.

Anyway back to Jockina's inaccurate forecast,, Ha ha,,, I ventured up't shed and she was right,,, the ice was slowly melting on the inside of the windies [after about half an hour of me having my gas bottle heater on regulo 3],,,, but it was still cold enough to affect the gorilla's privates,,, so I donned my steptoe modelling gloves and the only reason I knew I was soldering something was due to the acrid aroma of burning flesh,,, I certainly couldn't feel anything.

The cat who is a seasoned campaigner in arctic modelling came in,, rooted about under the workbench for about 3 minutes and then even she cleared off,,, the next time I saw her she was relaxing on top of the fridge with that "you must be mad working up their look".

I called it a day and so not much to report on the modelling front at the moment..

STOP PRESS,,, Oh yes we have,,, we have been invited to Trainwest Exhibition in Melksham Wiltshire. Only about 20 miles from Swinedon,,,,, I hope it's not contagious.
Which year??? to be confirmed,,, that's always a good sign when they don't know which year they can fit you in.

I am assured security will be adequate to tight but I'll be taking my aluminium underpants just in case,,, they are a strange bunch these types that are instinctively attracted to Swinedon,,, I've already got a visa but I may need professional help in ironing out any wrinkles in translation.
 I can also see I may have to invest in some corporate flat caps for this one!!!!!
Just hope I don't end up next to the Morris Dancers!!!! Only joking Geoff,, only joking.

Anyway when I know when I'll let you know,,, we will have to start saving though,,,, I'm sure by 2015/6 my mate Max will be treading the boards again and as it's a 2 day bash I'm bound to upset somebody and I may  need his help,, and from what I've heard he don't come cheap!!

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